Or passing out orange slices at halftime of the soccer game? Maybe, it might have seemed to her, I simply lacked the social wherewithal to limit myself to the typical first-date pleasantries. And here, a dozen or so questions in, I pause. It was gone when I came back. So was she. I stare for another minute or so at the question.
Desire, in other words, is liberated in the virtual world only to be restrained in the real. There are, to be sure, plenty of online cultures in which bad faith is not the norm, cultures dedicated, for example, to casual and sexually explicit meetups, particularly prominent here in the Bay Area where underground networks of gloryholes and fetish clubs function as a kind of shadow market to the more official online dating scene.
Shakespeare, too, was similarly attuned to the embodied workings of shame. Shame is a wincing, a cringing of the soul, a feeling of absolute, unmitigated humility. First, he cancels on Friday and now he leaves after half an hour. Oh my God. Alright, I just needed an outlet. Here, the bottle seemed to say, here it had ended.
As I finished my beer, steeling myself for the hour-long trip back to the East Bay, I got a text from her:. Still, I told her that I hoped things worked out all right for him. Did she think that I had—in the same way which I believed she had—misrepresented myself?
Was she anticipating someone taller? Someone smarter? Someone with more muscles or a deeper voice? I noticed long-repressed anxieties about my masculinity surfacing again, and as I headed down the escalator into the station at Civic Center, I opened my OkCupid profile on my phone, conscious, for the first time, that maybe I had embellished it.
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This is how you save money. Save yourself. Ten messages or bust. So, I often email with the same group of about friends, and I find myself always purposely changing up the order of the CC list so nobody feels undervalued. Is this just me? Do I need to do this? If you hosted a dinner party, would you make everyone get up and rearrange chairs every ten minutes so that everyone received equal exposure to each other guest in attendance? It is very sweet, and also impressive that you can both remember the order you last used and take the time to change that order!
I do think you might be the only person doing this.
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